Wednesday, August 17, 2005
now i'm back to my not-feeling-quite-right mood. oh wells. then i can spend time thinking through stuffs. and feel sad about it. or maybe happy. depending on what i'm thinking.
so i didn't shout after claaar in the end. well, she was quite far actually. and she walk fast. i'm serious. fast. saw her at the bus stop. and apparently she was going to bayshore. hmm. if i didn't have violin, she could have came my house. ohh. that would be so great. then she can console me and get me out of the not-feeling-quite-right mood.
nothing much happened today i guess. or maybe i just wasn't in the right mood to notice everything. and tan jialing has helped me buy lighter. i seriously need them. not to burn myself or paper. but my candles. and nope tan jialing. i don't burn paper. so i'm not copying you. i just need to burn the candles someone gave me. since it's like meaningless to keep them anymore. maybe they can even cheer me up. ohh. and i realised i forgot what occasion was it when i received the candles. maybe it was after another cold war againn. oh wells. no point looking back. and i don't wish to look ahead either. neither am i happy with the present.
i feel like giving everything up at this moment now. give up everything and lock myself in my room. where there are no disturbance. and no worries. neither will i ever feel depressed. it's no use hanging onto something that will have no result. it was already made clear. i just chose not to believe it. guess this is a way of punishing me. for taking things for granted in the past.
i shall just finish up the geog script and go to sleep. where i don't have to worry about anything. neither do i have to care about anything.
au revoir.
i hate myself.
vicki the SEXY sunshine loves you!
7:53 AM